Snoring

When I was very little, we didn’t have a large home. There was only one bed in one room, so my dad, mom, and I slept together. One thing I really dislike is my dad’s snore. It was so noisy, and I had to push him to make him stop. Sometimes he just suddenly stopped and woke, cause then he would probably move his body a little bit.

I was sort of happy when I grew up that I didn’t have this problem. Last night, when I was sleeping, I was waken for some reason all of sudden. At the same time, I heard a noise. Yes, that was my snore. I was doing the same thing as my dad. This was something I just realized recently. It was so funny that this made me think I am a grownup, a man, not a boy anymore.

I had my first wet dream when I was twelve. There was nothing sexual or stimulating in my dream, but it just kinda happened. My teacher told me it was too early — most of people had their first wet dream around eighteen, but there was nothing to worry about. At that time I had no idea about anything: what I am, what I am becoming, and what was the implication. Someone told me that when you had your first wet dream, you became a man. I didn’t feel it. I still felt I was just a child. Even when I was twenty.

But that snoring last night, after waking up in the morning and realizing what I did, made me feel I am a man now. Isn’t that funny and strange? I almost laughed at myself and that thought. Maybe there was something wrong with my body or something bad, but I don’t know, and I don’t want to either. I just want to treat this as a step of growing up, and enjoy the feel. The most amazing feel, I believe, is growth. One day, this growth is certainly becoming a process of decease, but even so, I want to grasp and enjoy this feel whenever it appears.

Looking out of the window, I remember that, they say the sky has no color. It was blue because of the ocean. We can’t see the ocean from many places in this world, but the blue sky we can see everywhere, like a gift from a stranger, is always taking care of us.