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Isn't that strange? It's been 20 days since my birthday, but I didn't have a strong feeling it's a new page of my life until I signed the lease for my new apartment. Last year was a long year, and lots of unexpected and painful things happened. On 31st April last year, I "escaped" from my boat house to my current apartment. So many months after that I still saw the boat house in my dream. But the current one is like a shelter for me. When all the sad and unhappy things happened there, when people I used to trust and treated as my family turned back on me, I, like a refugee, escaped to my apartment. This one is much more expensive that I had to be extremely careful about my spends, and lived in the constant fear of running out of money. I don't have a credit card; my parents couldn't support me financially; I am all alone here. So the money in my bank account is my everything. If it turned zero, which I assumed is pretty easy, my life turned zero as well. But the important thing is that, this little cabin-like one bedroom, accepted me when I needed a shelter to run away from everything.

Jack, the manager, became the person I talked with every day. His truck always parked in from of my window. Gradually, I didn't realize that it had already become my habit to check if his truck was parked there when I woke up every morning. If it was there, I felt relieved, happy, and secure. In fact, except sometimes he parked on the street, his truck was always there.

He worked in the garage next to my home probably four days a week. My desk was right in front of my huge window, so when I was working on my computer, I could always spot him when he was walking by. Sometimes, I would just wave to him, and he saw me, waved back and smiled.

My new apartment is way much cheaper and just across the street, in the same neighborhood. I should be happy. But I was crying in my bed. This time is not like last time when I moved out of boat house; instead I am happy. My heart is full of the love. I appreciate the love that this place ever gave me when the whole world is turning its back on me, when I thought I might be homeless, when I experienced the first real heartbreak in my life, when almost nothing got right. It embraced me.

I am grateful. For everything. And I'm still full of tears.