hero

I had a dream the other night. I was in junior high school, running on the playground. The playground was empty; only myself. Sometimes, something that happened so long ago just appeared in your dream for no reason. It was snowing in Boulder last night. Looking out of the window, the snowflakes looked like angels falling from the sky, in that street lights.

Almost ten minutes after I woke up, my mom sent me a message, saying our second dog, Nerdy, passed away. And then she sent me a picture of her.

"This is the picture I took two days ago when she was really sick. We didn't know why, but she kept bleeding and even the vets cannot stop. We just buried her in the backyard."

I haven't seen her many years since I left home and came to Boulder. They say dogs are smart -- they can sense if you're gonna leave for a long time. I wonder if Nerdy ever sensed that she will never see me again. She was still young. She was only 14. I kept imagining the day when I got back home and saw her again. Will she still recognize me? Will she bark like crazy?

When I was 15, there was a physical education test before getting into senior high. I was not at good at sports and was weak. The test for running 1KM in 4 minutes was a huge challenge (honestly even for now). To make sure I can pass the test, every night when it was dark, I ran around my neighborhood. That was the second year when Nerdy joined our family. So she ran with me every night. Of course, she was always faster than me and never got tired. I ran after her. I felt confident every time I was running with her. And at the end in that test, which was held in my junior high, I passed, with a full score.

This was the first thing popped into my head when I heard the news.

Mom told me she missed Nerdy so much. Every time when she came home, the first thing for her was to find Nerdy. And then realized that she was gone.

I was looking out of the window again. Listening to Mai Kuraki's new song Light Up My Life. I don't know why I started crying like a baby. I didn't cry a lot; but this time I cannot even wipe away my tears.

The morning after they buried Nerdy, it started to snow for the first time in Beijing that year.