Attack

I submitted a paper to a conference. It was the submission deadline, and I actually feel good about this work. Honestly, I think it will definitely get in. Boulder today was cloudy and it was a little drizzling this afternoon. I was planning to work on my another paper, or maybe just to order some food and watch TV shows. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, probably.

Then this attack came.

I started feeling a little pain in my stomach, and I thought maybe that's because I was hungry. Usually, I eat a little snack and it'll be fine. So I ordered MickyD. And I guess this is where the nightmare started.

Stomach pain was not a stranger to me, although I don't usually get that a lot. My body is weird. Sometimes, for example, I had a good dinner with friends and if I talked too much or laughed too hard, I would definitely get the stomach pain. But sometimes it just came from nowhere. I ate some chicken tenders and a cheeseburger. No, it was not because I was hungry. My stomach fucked me up, totally.

I was lying on bed, breathed heavily, and hope it will pass soon. I took out the pills I carried from China, since I knew my stomach would attack me. I knew it. This pill worked best, and usually after three hours, it would take effects. But I guess, only those who had experienced this sort of pain know that every second is a torture. So I took two pills, though I usually took one.

Nothing helped.

I crunched my body on bed, and breathed. I told myself, be patient, let your body do its work. It's just a process to deal with something wrong in your body. I couldn't stand up straight. The attack was brutal.

One hour later, nothing was better. It was only 5pm. But I guessed that tonight will be wasted, so I turned of all the lights and my desktop, and went to bathroom to take a hot hot shower. I could still feel the pain, but it seemed that soaking in the hot water released some of the pain. I didn't cry. Crying only made it worse.

I was lying on my left, closed my eyes, and tried not to sleep. It was early, and I didn't want to be sleepless just because I took a nap three hours before the bedtime. It did happen. It was really strange. I usually had hard time falling asleep even when I was tired or sleepy. But this time, even with the stomach pain, I felt I was calmed down. One hour later, I woke up, and it did really get much better. I wonder what if I only took one pill? How long would it take to recover?

This pain, I guess, is that kind of pain that you don't want someone you love to see. I mean, I couldn't even breathe, how can a hug or cuddling help?

But hey, I'm alive.