Monster

I can’t believe I finished reading all 9 volumes of Monster by Naoki Urasawa. It’s probably the first time I finished reading a manga? When I was in elementary school I claimed that I love manga and anime, and I also bought many magazines and books, but I don’t remember finishing any of them.

In terms of Monster, I have also watched the anime in high school for a couple of episodes, but I lost interest in the seemingly never ending chase of Johan Liebert. And probably I just didn’t have time to watch it. Now this summer, I re-started everything and bought the manga, all 9 volumes of it. It was absolutely a masterpiece, and I started to admire the format of manga, or even just graphic novels, for the vivid depiction of details of scenes, emotions, facial expressions, and so on.

Even though there are still parts I don’t understand, the ending — the last two pages or three — is really a bang, which turns a thriller/suspense story into a total tragedy. Maybe that’s the whole point — using thriller as a cover to mask the underlying tragedy. It reminds me of The Haunting of the Hill House, which seems like a really horror story, but as we’re getting closer to the end, it is clear that it is a very sad and tragedian story about love and abandon. Not that these two stories have relations in terms of the theme or the plot, but the way they present a sad story is very similar.

Been doing NoFap lately, starting from Aug 10. So today’s 8th day. I don’t know how much it’ll help, cuz at least these days I don’t feel much urges, and my cock can’t get hard either. Briefly after training legs today I stroked it for a bit, but really not feeling it. Occasionally when I was thinking about some scenes from the porn I watched, or the pics, my heart beat faster, but my cock didn’t get hard. I think I’ll keep doing NoFap, no porn, no arousing pics, no masturbating probably not even edging. I really hope I’m ok…